Really?!
Tom Baldwin in Washington
Rock crushes scissors, scissors cut paper and paper covers rock. But nothing beats an all-expenses-paid trip to Las Vegas and a shot at winning $50,000.
What was once a game to settle playground disputes has grown up to be on the verge of recognition as a global sport, with this year’s finals of the USA Rock Paper Scissors Tournament bringing together more than 300 contestants from all over America.
Matti Leshem, the national league’s self-styled commissioner, has already petitioned the International Olympic Committee to make it an event. Now he wants to bring “the greatest competition ever to sweep the USA” to Britain.
“I’m in talks with broadcasters in your country. I’ve a sneaking feeling that you guys will be good at it,” he said yesterday. “Some of your young people are quite athletic.”
Nor does his ambition for RPS, as he calls it, stop there.
“This is a sport which creates harmony – we should get out of Iraq and start throwing RPS instead. I want to set up the RPS Foundation which promotes this sport as a simple method of conflict resolution.”
Sunday night’s final was the culmination of more than 300 regional heats involving, said Mr Lesham, “hundreds of thousands of people”, all of whom beat their fists twice in the air (three times in Britain) before revealing one of the symbols.
The $50,000 prize went to Jaime Langridge, a Texas nurse.
Paramedics were on hand in case of “wrist or shoulder dislocations” while each bout took place under the careful gaze of trained referees. Fouls include the vertical paper throw, known as “the handshake”, deemed illegal because it resembles scissors – as well as the horizontal scissors throw, outlawed for the opposite reason.
More legitimate techniques include “cloaking” – concealing your choice until the last possible second – or “shadowing”, where players pretend to choose one symbol and then change at the last second. Some players use special fingerless RPS gloves.
“A lot of people tried to cheat. They throw early and then roll their hands,” said Mr Leshem, 44, a Hollywood producer who clearly understands the value of hype. “We had the world’s greatest RPS referee in Phil Gordon [a well-known poker player] and he made some big calls. There was a lot of controversy, but we went back on the videotape and he got it right every time.”
The USARPS league is burgeoning largely because of its sponsorship from Bud Light, which sees it as the perfect bar-side competition.
RPS is beginning to creep into other parts of American life. Last year a federal judge in Florida settled a case by ordering the two sides to play RPS.
And when Takashi Hashiyama, a Japanese executive, could not decide where to auction his firm’s collection of Impressionist paintings, he told the US divisions of Christie’s and Sotheby’s to match off in similar fashion, saying: “This is the best way to decide between two things which are equally good.”
Mr Leshem is scathing however, about a rival organisation – the long-established World Rock Paper Scissors Society.
“They try to claim the sport was invented in Britain! RPS has been around for centuries. They even played in Stone Age times – but then it was known as Rock, Rock, Rock.”
Hand signals
In a three shoot game, there are 27 variations, but these gambits - the “great eight” - have become famous
Avalanche: Rock-Rock-Rock. A “devastating offensive manoeuvre, which requires bravado bordering on recklessness to execute”.
The Bureaucrat: Paper-Paper-Paper. Formerly known as Confetti, “the deadpan delivery is the ultimate in passive-aggressive play”.
The Crescendo: Paper-Scissors-Rock. “Slow-building gambit” with the devastating rock delivering a “coup de grâce”.
Dénouement: Rock-Scissors-Paper. “Uses a cooling-down approach - when used in tandem with the Crescendo the result is often a baffled opponent.”
Fistful o’ dollars: Rock-Paper-Paper. “The rapid switch from offensive to defensive play can force an opponent into a vulnerable spot.”
Paper dolls: Paper-Scissors-Scissors. “An extremely effective gambit against the unwary”.
Scissor sandwich: Paper-Scissors-Paper. “Its main purpose is to unsettle the opponent through use of the concealed scissors”.
Toolbox: Scissors-Scissors-Scissors. “Requires steady hands and steely nerves. Given the puerile popularity of Rock, this gambit is not suggested for use against beginners.”
